Would you like to stop human trafficking and sex slavery?
Rape? Sexual violence?
It sounds lovely. Absolutely, yes, right?There’s a problem.We’ve got a culture that celebrates aggressive sexuality in music/tv/photography/art and encourages pornography/masturbation/sexual experimentation. It’s a culture that:
WANTS to hear Rihanna and Chris brown sing a duet about their sexual exploits after self-righteously throwing a nationwide hissy-fit about domestic violence.
WANTS children to have “sexual freedom” and access to condoms/birth control/contraceptives.
More access to contraceptives lead to rape?? Are rapes are caused by condoms and the pill ?? WTF is this??
WANTS flags and rainbows and smiles in the name of sexual liberation!
…Can this culture, at the same time, be appalled at the consequences of the same sex agenda it defends?
So do gay haman rights, I guess!! Two consenting adults enjoying the same rights as anybody else contribute to the sexualisation of society and consequently to the rape of children?? This affirmation leads to some major moral considerations: So what should we do?? Should we fucking kill gays for rape to stop?? Did sexual abuse start with the fight against homophobia? Jesus, help me!! I have lost the will to can!!
Do we have the right to cry “INJUSTICE!” when we see the fruit of our hyper-sexualized culture being manifested in the lives of unwilling women, men and children?
All this and I’m realizing that my PERSONAL digestion of pornography and indulgence in masturbation is equally (if not more) the cause as any human trafficker. (PS - could you please pray for me about that?)
I’ve had to ask myself, If you can’t surrender your lust for righteousness sake, how can you expect anyone else to?
Whether or not you’re raping/trafficking/attacking you have the ability to take a stand against the widespread acceptance of sexual violence/exploitation/indoctrination by resisting the lust in your own life.
We can’t have our “birthday cake” and eat it too.
people who are allowed to decide how rihanna should respond to abuse:
people who are not allowed to decide how rihanna should respond to abuse:
- everyone else
No, I dont agree with that. This is actually incorrect. Im studying psychology, and yes I’ve learned very much about the effects of abuse on people mentally. A person cant deal with or respond to abuse alone. Its not a individual thing.
My point exactly! Stockholm syndrome is a mf.
But, I see what point you’re trying to make. Its been a few years since the incident with Chris Brown, & obviously they still wanna be together. Thats her decision after all this time if she wants to be in a relationship or not.I dont know why America likes beating around the bush & lies, because obviously theyre seeing each other. You dont just make a hyper sexual song with someone who gave you a eye jammy like that all willy nilly….
After all this time, she’s forgiven him. Everyone makes mistakes and even though it couldnt be me, and even though most people wont agree, Chris & Rihanna obviously need to be with the person they love, even if the world dont agree.
No one said Rihanna needed to heal alone, just that she and she alone is in charge of how to heal.
And making a song about sex with someone does not mean you’re dating them.
you know what
i’m just not going to read tumblr any more, forever. or something.
because this whole “ri made a new song w/chris brown she’s getting back together with him, fuck her next time he beats her” crap is really fucking pissing me off.
and in many ways, the discourse supporting ri is just as irritating—“how do you know she’s back together with him do you have pictures???” thing?? yeah. UGH.
this whole narrative that people have tried to imposed on ri since the public found out she was in an abusive situation is infuriating. whatever her choices are—she is living one very basic truth of all fucking survivors. it’s our right as human beings to define our own experience in our own ways. and it’s our right as human beings to make our own choices and trust our own instincts. and it’s our right as human beings to do all that without the fear of getting our ass kicked by our partner/families and it’s our right to do that while being accountable to *OURSELVES* first. Or: it’s our right to not take the needs of every damn body else in the world into consideration. as human beings—we have the right to *autonomy*.
this is the very basic fucking truth of all human beings. and so the point is not “FUCK HER NEXT TIME HE BEATS HER” and it’s not even “THERE’S NO PROOF SHE’S BACK WITH HIM”—
the point is—how do ***WE AS A COMMUNITY/CULTURE/SOCIETY*** MAKE SURE RI IS ALLOWED TO CLAIM HER FULL HUMAN AUTONOMY IN THE WAY SHE SEES FIT????
In other words: IT’S NOT HER JOB TO MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T BEAT HER.
It’s ***OUR*** (society, community, culture, etc) job to make sure violence is no longer an acceptable part of our culture in any way shape or form and to find ways to 1. stop violence from happening and 2. make sure there are accountability measures in place when it does.
where are all the discusions on what we and our communities are going to do to end violence in all it’s forms?
what ri does is not the point. what chris does, even, is not the point.
the point is—what are WE going to do?
Maybe I need more context. I just read the Dailywhat and apparently Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together and I read extremely offensive comments towards her in the notes, so I guess this post is referring to that.
However I find this quite paradoxical because it is somehow implied that “we” as a society can proscribe domestic violence while overlooking the destructive and morbid psychological dynamic at the heart of abusive relationships! Survivors have a right to autonomy but can they really be autonomous while being at the receiving end of physical and emotional abuse ?
Policing the actions of a survivor is just as damaging and abusive as victim blaming. However we just can’t disregard the fact that most victims of abuse suffer from some form of Stockholm Syndrome which leads them to be seven times more likely to stay with their abusers than leave, and this can have tragic consequences. Also, abusers, NEVER changes, they may learn how to control their pulsions, but they never change!! In these conditions, abuse is almost always bound to happen again!
So what margin of action do WE have exactly when the victim goes back to his/her abuser and persists on staying in a potential dangerous relationship?
This is why I don’t think abusees’ decisions about their abusers can ever be completely autonomous and free from the long-lasting psychological and emotional effects of the abuse. What the abuser and the abusee do, DOES matter. And it should be analysed through the psychological dynamic specific to the relationship.
[TW rape culture]
So, some white feminists found it appropriate to post the picture of a battered Rihanna to make their point????? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL??? You spend hours talking about trigger this, trigger that but have so little respect for a BLACK WOMAN victim of abuse that you are ready to post a STOLEN picture of her. Rihanna said several times how humiliating and hurtful it was for her to see that picture leaked in the press, but your hatred for Chris Brown has apparently no limit! This should be common sense! I have officially lost all the little respect I had left for you UGH
Yeah, people, I know it’s suuuuuuper shitty that Chris Brown was at the Grammys last night, but PLEASE remember that those photos were released without her consent. We all know what Chris Brown did. Stop posting the photos of it.
Racism and rape culture are interacting in this truly disgusting way right now. We’re focusing all this energy and anger on Chris Brown as an abuser. Yes, his actions deserve this level of scorn, but it’s certainly true that white abusers of frequently are ignored/forgotten about quickly. In this case, we haven’t forgotten and we’re happy to place blame where it belongs (on Chris Brown).
Yet we give zero fucks about women of color who are victims of violence, rape, and abuse. I don’t just mean Rihanna, although she is a good example of it. There’s the humiliating, violating picture of her face that continually makes the rounds. There was the backlash after this happened about why she wasn’t going to stand up and be a domestic abuse advocate now. There was additional backlash after her video for ‘Man Down’ came out. No matter how she wants to handle her own abuse, nobody’s satisfied with it.
And it is terrifying how this come naturally for many white feminists. This shows how racism is deeply embedded and latent in them, and how important it is for white feminists to question their motives even on an unconscious level. It is with antics like this one that they lose all credibility.